Discover the art of giving children the right kind of praise to boost their confidence and motivation. Learn about the consequences of excessive praise and the value of acknowledging a child's efforts.
Praising children is a way for parents to express pride and appreciation. However, praise that doesn't align with reality or goes overboard can have negative effects on a child's development, particularly their self-esteem. So, how do you provide the right kind of praise for children?
Excessive Praise Can Make Children Uncomfortable
According to research conducted by psychologist Stephen Grosz of Columbia University, excessive praise can make children feel uncomfortable and lacking in confidence.
Praises like "you're extremely smart" or "you're incredibly talented" can give children the impression that they must continually meet the high standards set by their parents. Such praise may also make children believe they no longer need to put in effort to learn or grow.
Excessive praise can also breed a fear of failure and embarrassment among children. Kids who receive excessive praise often tend to avoid challenges and difficult tasks because they worry about not performing well. They are also more likely to give up quickly when facing difficulties or failures. Excessive praise can diminish a child's motivation and creativity.
The Right Praise Acknowledges a Child's Efforts
So, how should you provide appropriate praise to children? According to Grosz, parents and teachers should offer praise that acknowledges a child's effort and learning process, not just the end result.
Praise like "you worked hard to solve this problem" or "you studied diligently for this exam" can have a positive impact on children.
Acknowledging a child's efforts through praise can boost their self-confidence and self-esteem. Children who receive such praise regularly will feel capable of tackling challenges and problems. They will also be more motivated to learn and develop. Praise that acknowledges a child's effort can also enhance their social and emotional skills.
Praise Must Be Tailored to the Child's Situation and Needs
In addition to acknowledging a child's effort, parents and teachers should pay attention to the child's situation and needs when giving praise. Praise should be adjusted according to the child's age, abilities, interests, and characteristics. Praise should also be clear, specific, honest, and sincere.
Parents and teachers should avoid comparative or competitive praise, such as "you're smarter than your sibling" or "you're the top student in the class."
Such praise can lead to jealousy, envy, or competition among children. Praise should also be given proportionally and not too frequently to prevent children from becoming bored or indifferent.
The Importance of Listening to and Valuing a Child's Opinions
In addition to offering praise, parents and teachers should listen to and value a child's opinions. They should create a space for dialogue with the child and inquire about topics that interest them. Parents and teachers should also provide opportunities for children to express their ideas, thoughts, or suggestions.
By listening to and valuing a child's opinions, parents and teachers can build a strong relationship with the child. This positive relationship can make children feel loved, valued, and trusted by their parents and teachers. It can also help children develop critical thinking, communication skills, and the ability to collaborate with others.
Conclusion
Praising children is a way for parents to express pride and appreciation. However, praise that doesn't align with reality or goes overboard can have negative effects on a child's development, particularly their self-esteem. Therefore, parents and teachers should provide appropriate praise to children, which acknowledges their efforts and learning process, not just the end result.
Praise should also be tailored to the child's situation and needs, and it should be given clearly, specifically, honestly, and sincerely. In addition to offering praise, parents and teachers should listen to and value a child's opinions, making children feel loved, valued, and trusted.
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